In my last blog outing ‘The politics of an artistic process’ I went on a rant. A big one. And I was taken to task for it. Rightly so. There’s nothing worse than having to read or listen to someone spewing a barrage – as was noted; ’you also speak a lot without saying anything, where are your true convictions? What do you want to see or to say?’ I responded in as constructive a manner as was possible but to be honest I was sucker punched. The person who made the comment was absolutely right. I was too right. Too moralistic, too high handed. And it was all too easy, intellectually shallow. All fluff, no substance.
It was about time I was brought to book. Too often I sit down infront of my computer and think about what rant I’ll go on next. There is so much to be dissatisfied with – for sure. There is so much to be frustrated about – no doubt. However, having said all that it is simply not good enough to get up on your soap box and let fly. For one thing it’s tedious and, most importantly, no one, not me the ranter, nor you, the audience, learn anything. Thought, discussion, reflection, debate are left out in the cold. Intelligence goes on holiday until the next blog comes around. Well, I’ve decided that from now I’m going to be more considered. Perhaps I’ll get personal – stick with what I know – and reflect on my perception of things.
Of course, mutantspace.com is the most obvious place to start as I built it as a vehicle for change, on the back of much work, much thought. More importantly it is a means to create new situations, new tools for people to use in a practical way. mutantspace.com seeks a way to new spaces, undiscovered territories that allow us freedom to play, to create outside the control of the mainstream cultural system. However, as this journey moves on, from phase to phase, I find myself needing to dig deeper into contemporary cultural theory, radical political, philosophical and sociological theory, into academia to centre myself, explain what I’m about, what I’m trying to get at. And there lies the rub. Knowing that I need to start looking at the wider picture and begin contextualising this journey I am on, we are on, I am stumped. At a fullstop. I am reduced to ranting.
I don’t have the tools to talk about the large political, philosophical, sociological issues of our times. I don’t have the language, the information, the exactness to express that need I have, that desire to explain my frustration with the system in which I live. The control it has over me, the all pervasiveness of it. I am frustrated in my attempts to try and articulate the situation I find myself in – like a baby who knows what they want but can’t say it, can’t be succinct, can only point in the general direction and grunt until someone eventually gets it. I am a babble machine vomiting goobledegook as I try to make my way beyond the shadow of control into the light of freedom.
To that end, next month I will be introducing an academic column into this blog (written by someone else) and hope that you’ll all come on this journey of discovery with me. In the meantime have a look at this documentary on Antonio Negri. It was sent to me today.
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