As I write this I have the flu and you know what? I don’t give a damn about anything else right now. Having the flu is like being a zombie , well almost. Zombie’s have a bad reputation, but it’s not their fault, it’s not like they asked to be the living dead. I empathize with the living dead, hey someone has too, Zombies are also known as the lobotomized or Romero’s rejects, I love the second one especially. I mean they were once loved one’s weren’t they, now people do their best to avoid zombie’s (it’s probably their body odour that puts people off) and if one of them get’s too close, then BAM! A shotgun blast to the head, the scientific term is severe brain trauma. I bet zombie’s don’t intentionally try to tear our jugular veins out, they just wanna be accepted and loved but then impulse kicks in and well, you must’ve of seen at least one zombie movie.
John Donne once said that no man is an Island, well screw you Donne, screw and your observations. Everyman is a piece of the continent my ass. Well what about Romero’s rejects John? Did you consider those lost souls in your meditation? What about cat’s John? What about those cute ’n’ cuddly abandoned kittens John, are cat‘s not important enough for you to write about? And what about me John, oh and don’t get me started on Frankenstein’s re-animated friend, poor son of a bitch?
Whilst you were writing your famous meditation (or medication or could that be mediation?) you forgot about the cynical folks, maybe cynicism didn’t exist those in days of yore and maybe I am an ignoramus and perhaps I do have an ego the size of New-York fucking city, but I gotta write about something. I know, I know, you talk about man and his importance in society and or the world and that we depend on one another and blah, blah, blah. But what about women John, are you one of those misogynists? Nietzsche coulda been one, Alfred Hitchcock was one apparently too, you’re probably wondering who the hell those guy’s are, don’t worry John, you’ll probably bump into them in the afterlife, or maybe in Dante’s fiery realm.
Thing is, you should never, ever tell a cynic that he’s part of a group, never, that’s the biggest mistake you could make. Your telling him that he belongs and he’s special and well, blow it out your ass. You don’t know the guy, you don’t understand how he thinks and feel’s about humankind, he may be an introvert for fucks sake and we all know about introvert’s.
Take me for example I am cynical, I feel that I don’t belong 100 percent of the time, maybe if you tried harder, the obese guy in the tux shouts, huh, tell me another joke, try harder, try harder, that’s the worst thing that I could do. Trying is a lot like planning and you know what I thinks about plans? They never go according to plan. Sure you can get a nine two five, a woman, then a home, family etc, etc. but are you really in control? Sure you have a choice but the whole damn show will eventually crash and more than likely burn and probably explode into pieces. The cracks start appearing just after the honeymoon, but you guys are in love, you just cover them up hoping that they’ll magically heal or something(yes keep lying), but remember, time’s an insidious bitch.
Now don’t get me wrong, I too quite recently imagined and even kinda planned my future, but I finally accepted the truth, I am not the master of my destiny, if I’m given an opportunity then I’ll consider it, then I decide. Sure people will say that I should do this or that, well what the hell would they know? Nothing on earth can see or predict my future, even if I had a De Lorean that could reach speeds up to and beyond 88 M.P.H, and if it had a flux capacitor and I jumped twenty years into the future, I still wouldn’t know my future, I’d only get a glimpse of one of trillions of outcomes.
I suppose folks make plans to feel safe, secure and to have a meaningful purpose in life. I think most people are afraid, afraid to be alone and mostly afraid that they won’t be remembered, that’s why they have kids and headstones. Some people like Walt Disney for instance get their asses cryogenically frozen and demand to be thawed out in the year twenty thousand X (that‘s ten more times than it should be).
Celebrities crave attention, they stroll up and down the red carpet, seeking the attention of the masses hoping to get shot(with a camera people, with a camera), wait a sec they too are like zombies except we accept them, but if a celeb screws up (Lindsay Lohan anyone ), then they are rejected ’n’ ridiculed by talk show hosts, stand up comedians and us, yes us, me, you, even Johnny Pulsar the porn star who starred in the hit sci-fi romp, Close encounters of the sexual kind part 3, Johnny’s cat, his dog, even his god-damned head lice, Johnny‘s head lice not his dog’s, I believe his dog has fleas or perhaps some new strain of parasite, that probably originated some where in South America and it gradually affects the nervous system .
I feel sorry for celebrities, sure it’s their choice to be celebrities but they get so much hassle from the paparazzi and us. But celebrities are human also believe it or not, we all are and the Universal Declaration of Human Rights refers to them too. If anything, we’re the god-damned monsters treating people the way that we do , again I could mention Frankenstein and how horrified he was of his creation, but Victor you only realized he was ugly once he came to life and not when you were creating him, an old friend of mine actually pointed this out to me. Look at Dracula, Van Helsing convinced the Scooby gang that the Count was the bad guy, you jerks, oh coz he seduced some babes and wanted to buy a fucking house he was evil , well Van Helsing was probably jealous of the count, I bet he never even got laid (Van Helsing that is).
I know I’m not perfect, I have my flaws too , pretty much all of us get or feel a bit rejected sometimes but no matter what don’t get mad or feel resentment towards people, they probably don’t even know that they’ve upset you. But If I could give advice to Frankenstein’s creation, I’d tell him not to despise humanity, I’d tell him to be good and help people in anyway that he could but never give them a reason to hate you and if they still don’t want you around, then that’s their problem not yours. Thing is, animal’s are more accepting than people, the odd cat might ignore you but that’s their problem, they probably think that they’re better than us or something. So why not adopt a puppy or perhaps a wolf cub, animals see us for who we truly are, hey, even Adolf was adored by his pets.
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