May You Live In Interesting Times
The world as we know it is on the verge of economic collapse (Well most people claim so ). Oh there’s a famine in Africa, again. Drought is the cause apparently, but water or lack of said wet stuff does not cause famines. Well not this sort any how, I mean didn’t anybody see this one coming?. Oh what about the big chief in the sky? Ya know Mr. Numero uno. Isn’t he lord and protector of us sheep? Well that’s what some people have been harking on about, ever since some dude got nailed to a big-ass cross two thousand years ago. Oh and this dude also has extremely, awesome, magical powers. Apparently he has the gift of absorbing all of humanities sins, cool or what? So he’s some kind of magical sponge basically, who can also time-travel, oh apparently he’s also a citizen of the united states of America. So did dinosaur’s sin? What about those Neanderthal’s, you just know that they did wicked things, yeah like draggin‘ their unconscious bitches across the lawn. Are E.T’s on the list of saved people too? Oh they’re just a figment of my imagination and so are their modes of transport, they’re either airplanes, stars, or just plain old weather balloons.
Apparently 2012, is when most of us are gonna bite the dust. According to the Mayan calendar or myth, or your local fear fuelling D.J, pretty soon the T.S.W.H.T.F. Are we prepared though? Are we prepared to survive this coming mangled scorched earth , are we prepared for the cries of the pain filled billions? You wretched people lost.
Thing is, one too many “awakened” folks keep blabbing about this so called apocalyptic dream land. By awakened, I mean irregular folks, A.K.A sheep or sheeple, who have seen the light. PRAISE THE LORD JESUS. H. CHRIST, Hallelujah! But I believe all this talk will simply ruin this coming dread. Like I’ve always said “plans never go according to plan”. I coined that phrase and it’ll cost ya a dollar to use it.
Why is it now that this hate-filled balloon is about to go POP! Can any one of you nice folks answer that? All those years of silent solitude, all those years of facing a dead end. But history seems to repeat itself all too fucking often. But now I’m ready, now I’m prepared for, what ever is gonna come over that ant-hill. I’ve seen and digested enough crap to brace the punch. I may look feeble and slender but I’m prepared for whenever, the shit hit’s the fan.
But if the proverbial crap does splatter all over you, are you gonna hide like those enlightened Yankee doodle dandies? hiding in their cheaptastic, fantastic, Cuban missile crisis scare bunkers. Crunching on hydrated, de-hydrated corn flakes, whilst playing the videogames of yesteryear i.e. Super-Mario Bros, Tetris and maybe a bit of street fighter 2.
But wait you darling people, you luscious darlings you, what about your loved ones? You know, those people you apparently care for and adore. Your family, work mates, associates, the ones you chatter on and on and so forth about. Without these folks, you’d be a ghost. You need these people to talk to, to spend time with , to go to barbecues with, though you’re a fully fledged vegan and you claim to despise racism yet, you’re basically one yourself.
Where will they be? Will they be welcome in your time capsules? I doubt that very much, I picture them, those huggable people of yours, with their broken umbrella’s that you so kindly left them, with cow dung all over their puzzled faces.
Aren’t we all pretty much in the same sinking boat, we are the Hoi Polloi after all. We’re all humans ain’t we, we got two eyes, two feet and everything else inbetween(well most of us do, there is that one guy in south America with the fake eye, stolen lungs and the gimpy leg).
It’s kinda funny I suppose, I finally got myself a life, I was told this all the time by people, I even found myself a woman one time, just like nature intended. I became all mature and confident and now something is gonna blow out the candles. Well ya know what? It ain’t fair and I know millions perhaps billions of kids, women and animals are suffering right now, right now at this very moment in time and crawl space. Yes I know, I was real damn lucky to be born on this misty, piss filled, drunken island.(yeah real damn lucky)
As you’ve guessed all by yourselves, I’m a sardonic son of a bitch. Hey at least nobody gets left out. The way I see it, it’s better to be cynical, than racist, sexist, homophobic and so forth. That’s the problem with us, we say that everybody is equal and we are, but people, everyday honest to goodness people are either forgotten about or ignored. I suppose there are about 7 billion of us by now give or take a few hundred thousand. Numbers are expected to upsurge, eventually becoming astronomically retarded( the numbers that is, not us, or should that be you?)
The world has changed so much over the past decade, heck, ever since this year began things seem so surreal. Japan was struck by a tsunami, Fukushima nuclear power plant had a meltdown, wars rage in the middle-east. And the American war-machine keeps trundling through time, with it’s tri-coloured obedient lackeys.
Thing is, I don’t hate America, in fact I grew up on a diet of Uncle Sam’s American flavoured soup, my writing style is even Americanised, thank you very much Mr. Bukowski . I loved t.v show’s like Mac Gyver (remember his trusty Swiss army knife). Remember the A-team, those guys were bad-asses, though they never actually killed a single person( though I’m not sure about their exploits in Vietnam didn‘t they pull a bank heist in Hanoi?) I just remember explosion’s and bad guy’s flying through the air, usually with a little help from Mr.T. Yep, I’m a pop culture fan, some would say geek, but I say justa fan. I could call myself a pop culturist, yes I will, that’s what I am, I’m like Andy Warhol, but without the fame, the talent, white hair, polo necks and sun-glasses.(Though, I bet he wore a toupee).
I love pop culture, I’d eat it for breakfast if it were sugar coated and served in a box, sure the facts are irrelevant but you know what it’s fun to talk to people about star wars or family guy, it’s fun to talk about characters as though they’re actual factual people. Thing is, this is one of my hobbies and we all need some fun in our lives, it’s one of our basic needs, without it, life would be a mind numbing pulse. So as the title says, may you live in interesting times, even though it’s supposed to be an ancient Chinese curse it’s quite modern.
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