Are you envious? Are we all envious, have a secret wish that something is destroyed because we didn’t come up with it first, didn’t make it first, didn’t get it first? Do we know someone who has managed to succeed where we failed?
I think we all do, just don’t want to admit it. And in that secret, held deep within us, lies resentment, anger and bitterness. It poisons us. I always think those in the arts are particularly susceptible to envy which in turn leads to much bitterness, bitchiness, mutterings behind closed doors, disparaging remarks and so on. It’s a shame. We could be so much better, work so much better if we simply rejoiced at one another’s success after all its benefits touch everyone.
Naturally I am envious of much; those that create new spaces, beautiful art, interesting festival programmes and occasionally I too succumb to poisoning. My mind darkens and I spit vitriolic remarks at every opportunity I get to anybody that will listen. It gets me nowhere, does me no good, tires me and makes me despondent, I M-U-S-T S-T-O-P.
All of that said I do speak my mind and think it is important that one is not made to feel unduly negative because of a disagreeable comment made, an argument that goes against the grain, the mainstream, the consensus. We must try and find the balance between critical discussion and snide remarks.
So what am I envious of? Those that:
Write a beautiful sentence
Create a beautiful, inspiring, incredible, profound object
Make art for a living
Cook great food
Make a film that lasts long after I’ve seen it
Have intellectual rigour
Are fit and healthy
Can inspire people
Make great music
Make people laugh
Discover new process and ways of doing things
Create new spaces
Develop their own festival
Have original ideas
Think positively of everything
Grow their own food
Get the balance right
Are true and honest to themselves
There is much, much more. To these people I admire you greatly. You do inspire me to do better but I’m afraid I sometimes fail to be positive and instead sit on the stoop and find an excuse to tear you apart. If you have anything that you’re envious of stick it on this list.
“Pity is for the living, envy is for the dead”
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